Dirty Poems

There once was a girl from Siam
Who went for a ride in a tram
The dirty conductor
Jumped up and fucked her
And now she pushes a pram.

There once was a man name of Florin
Who was fond of a gal who was whorin’
When he looked in her box
And found 20 cocks
Said, “I’m sure you won’t mind just one more in.”

There once was a vampire called Mabel
Who’s menstrual cycle was stable
One weekend in four
She’d sit on the floor
And drink herself under the table.

There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.